Love in This Club: The PDA Couple

I’ve noticed that one of the triggers for feeling like I’ve made it in New York is anytime someone says “You guys, this [thing that we’re doing right now] is SO Friends!” It’s funny to think that emulating the characters from a TV show about restless, relationshipless, 30-somethings who can’t get their lives together has become a major standard of success for our generation… it’s like NBC in the 90s knew to prepare us for the recession.

Anyway, our friend Pete works for this adorable bar in the West Village and we spend a lot of Friday evenings gathered there with a huge group of friends catching up. Yeah, IT’S TOTALLY LIKE FRIENDS. We are so cool.

We step outside for a moment and encounter a couple furiously making out against the scaffolding. I find PDA couples so interesting because of the emotions they evoke:

1.) An immediate wave of shame and regret at the reminder of all the times I’ve been participant in a public, drunken Gropefest.

2.) A subsequent wave of depression when I think about how I’m not so madly in love with someone that I have no choice but to attack his face in a public place.

In reality, these scenes aren’t the result of True Love. In my experience love manifests itself in much quieter ways, and excessive PDA is the result of drinking. Lots and lots of drinking.

Case-in-Point: 

The PDA couple comes up to us and asks for a couple cigarettes, this is the perfect window for me to ask them their story and probe to see if this is the one True Love exception. It isn’t.

Basically, they’re at the bar with a bunch of their (now married) high school friends. They’ve known each other for over 15 years and were each other’s first kiss. Sounds cute, right? Except that after said first kiss the girl dumped the guy and proceeded to “date everyone at [their] high school.”

They did tell me the story of their first kiss –

PDA Guy –

“I kissed or- or I did what I thought at the time was kiss. Which was shove your tongue down someone else’s throat.”

PDA Girl –

“And I went home and at the time I thought ‘I never want to kiss ANYONE, ever again.”

Their fat, married, pretty obnoxious friend informed me that this was their first time hooking up since high school and in between lifting his shirt and saying “I mean, why wouldn’t she want to get. with. this?” PDA guy kept railing on about how ‘she’s a lawyer now and never talks to him.’

Oh yeah, we witnessed the makings of a very awkward morning after.

On a completely unrelated note, in writing this post I started thinking about which Friends characters we’d all be. I was forced to make some additions, but here’s what I came up with. Also, if you don’t get the Banya reference I’d seriously recommend brushing up on your Seinfeld knowledge.

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