I spent so much money at the bodega last night that Bank of America fraud protection department called me

No, really, I did.

I’ve spoken to Bank of America’s fraud department before, but I don’t think I remembered how awkward it is discussing the charges on my card. I’m far from a private person, but I can’t say my conversation with Ethan, the mouth-breathing customer service rep, was comfortable for me:

E- “Ok, I’m going to list the charges in question. Can you please confirm each one?”

T- “Sure.”

E- “106 King Gourmet Deli – $50.”

T- “…Yes.”

E- “Sophies – $15.”

T- “Yes.”

E- “NYC Taxi – $25. Duane Reade – $4.91. Chipotle – $13.50. Ashbys – $5.33.”

T- “Mhmm.”

E- “WMV Match.com – $78.00”

T- “Yes?”

E- “[About three more restaurants and Seamless web} ~$5.”

T- “Yes. Okthanksbye!”

I say all this to say that BoA decided $200 worth of charges to delis and Match.com was enough to be suspicious of fraud. Not only do my charges make me look fat and lonely, BoA just called me poor.

Dear Ethan,

If you need some proof of my recent activity –

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One thought on “I spent so much money at the bodega last night that Bank of America fraud protection department called me

  1. […] 3.) Reasons to feel better about yourself: I pledge to write more posts about how I’m 90% incapable of running my own life. That means more posts about my issues with texting, why Facebook makes me anxious  and lists of the food I eat when drunk. […]

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