I spend a lot of my time on the weekends wondering if I’m lamer than most. Weekends are this mystifying block of free time that I can never seem to properly utilize and they tend to be the source of much anxiety.
I could blame myself, but I’m going to blame Facebook instead.
On Fridays the only thing people talk about is what they’re going to do over the weekend and, aside from the rare scheduled event, everyone says, “Oh… probably just stay in and have a relaxing weekend. I need to clean/do my laundry/do some more work.”
These plans sound vague enough to reflect what I actually do with my weekends. My problems start on Sunday afternoon when I check the Facebook mini feed. Over the course of the weekend, other people seem to have found things to do other than nurse their hangovers and spend all their money on Seamless Web orders.
Full Disclosure: If my Facebook profile indicated the true weekend highlights, this weekend would look something like this…
- Woke up at 1pm, had a staring contest with Guinea Pig. Lost.
- Tiffany has checked into Westside Market 1am
- Spent at least 20 minutes pinching fat on the side of my rib cage. Tried to decide if it’s new.
- Tiffany is now friends with the Seamless Web Delivery Guy
- Tortured self by reading old gchat conversations with ex-boyfriend.
- Tiffany listened to Rihanna’s Rehab 34 times via spotify
- Battled flies currently living in bathroom. Lost.
- Thought about going to the gym. Ate ice cream.
- Did no work, spent too much money, didn’t take out air conditioner, cooked no food… consider making Match.com dates the biggest accomplishment of the weekend.
Of course, when I go into work tomorrow and I’m asked “How was your weekend?” I’ll respond with the standard answer,
“Oh… just stayed in and had a relaxing weekend.”