Thinnest Bodyguard Ever

I make friends most times I go out, but particularly when Austin’s not around. That’s usually because when Austin is around he deters people in one of two ways:

1.) Looking at them and saying “No.” “Ew.” or something even more offensive.

2.) Moving his body in between me and the person approaching me.

He’s like the thinnest bodyguard ever.

So last night Austin wasn’t around and we went to a neighborhood bar in Virginia Highlands. After a couple drinks I started my usual search for a cigarette and since Atlanta is redneck and you can smoke indoors, I didn’t have to travel far. I met these three recent Chicago-ATL transplants who where really nice, gave me a cigarette and one of them exchanged numbers with me in case I would be around over the holidays.

This is normally where the interaction ends. Aside from this cop I met when I used to be a beer pong referee or Justice, I’m usually not blessed with a slew of ego-boosting texts. Last night was another fantastic exception to this when Jeff, the seemingly normal Chicagoan, sent me all of these:

I guess I can’t blame him for trying, but that’s a lot of invites.

Austin, this is why you can never leave me.

You wouldn’t think it, but this is the face of a fierce protector.

One thought on “Thinnest Bodyguard Ever

  1. […] so I decided to make him a post. There are a lot of things I could mention when talking about my bodyguard, best friend and fellow Shorter College survivor… but there’s really one thing that […]

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