Dear Blog (and three loyal blog followers),

I have neglected you this week. Before you get all passive aggressive and say “Whatever, Thought Catalog has so much good shit that I didn’t even notice,” allow me to explain. I started sending out resumes on Tuesday, which amazingly led to interviews with 5 different companies, which unexpectedly led to about three different existential crises – the biggest of which was today. Who knew opportunity would freak me out? Probably my parents, but whenever they’re like “Tiffany, blahblah something about your personality that only we know because we raised you,” I’m all, “SHUT UP MOM AND DAD, quit acting like I’m a mini version of the two of you!!”

Anyway. I’ve been freaking out, and I plan on detailing all of my freak-outs, musings and other things I thought about that I found deep for like two seconds on the train and promise to remember tomorrow. I’d do it right now, but I’m unfortunately preparing for a date that I SO don’t want to go on. Why don’t I want to go on the date? Well, for one thing the guy called me while I was at work today to make sure I was going to show up and then said this –

“I’ve never you know, like, umm, well I haven’t really. I’m. I’m new to this online dating thing.”

I did the customer service chuckle, which is when I laugh to try to make the awkward person feel ok even though they’re not saying anything remotely funny. I only did it because I was at work and I was in the awkwardness-diffusing zone. Unfortunately, this encouraged him and he continued to stutter at me while I sat in my office.

“What is it like?”

“It’s like a job interview… but with more drinking.”

At this point I felt as though he’d never been on a date before. Like, how different is online dating than normal? At least with online dates you know there’s romantic potential.

I’m rambling… but whatevs. I’m sitting here, drinking and listening to Ni**as in Paris, super late for my date in the East Village that I’m going to have to take a cab to and really not wanting to go. While I never want to go on these dates, I feel it more tonight because I really just want to go have a panic attack about my future in a corner of my apartment. Maybe with a bottle of vodka. Damnit, Friday night dates, you ruin everything.

Ok blog friends, by Sunday I promise you’ll have fun things to read about this trainwreck of a date I’m about to have. Or at the very least, I’ll post videos of my guinea pigs fighting, because they’ve been fighting a lot lately and it’s HILARIOUS.

Happy Friday.



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