And this is why I’m not a fashion blogger

My sister-in-law recently launched an awesome new website – it’s kinda like Forever21, but there’s less teeny/tie-dyed things and a better curated handbag selection. So, she sent me some super cute accessories and I promised to take some Lookbook style photos for her.

After trying to do this, I now have mad respect for my favorite fashion bloggers. Every time I read Cupcakes and Cashmere I’m all, “Whatever, her boyfriend takes those photos and she knows how to use photoshop.” Now that I’ve attempted this formula, I understand how difficult it is to 1. Look effortlessly cute while standing in a street/ alley/ barn and 2. Instruct your significant other, who doesn’t spend hours reading fashion blogs, on how to choose the best moments to take a photo AND 3. Learn how to use fucking photoshop. Shit is hard. Also, I have now decided that fashion bloggers probably don’t use an iPhone to take their pictures.

ANYWAY. While, I won’t be sending these photos to my sister-in-law, I realized when boyfriend and I slid into the cab last Friday night that I had to share them with all of you. We’d just finished dinner at the Smith, and after 2 or so glasses of wine I was feeling brave enough to be photographed.

“Here! This is the perfect spot!” I threw my purse on the ground because it didn’t match my shoes.

“Ummm, how do I work this thing?” Chris as an android. Poor thing.

“Focus mainly on my shoes. It’s about the shoes.”

“I don’t know that the light directly above your forehead is the best choice for this photo shoot.”

“Just take a picture of my shoes and make the rest blurry!!” I clearly don’t understand how cameras work.

The ‘photoshoot’ ended by a group of older, drunk people walking out of the back exit of the restaurant and stepping onto my purse, and then the guy who stepped on my pursing didn’t apologize but instead said, “Oh! Good! For a second I thought that was a rat.”

Annnnndddddd here’s why I’ll never have a fashion blog:

Attempted look: “Effortlessly cute.”
Actual look: “BREATHING TAKES A LOT OF EFFORT!”

Attempted look: “Oh, you’re taking a pic of me? I was just looking to the side and thinking about how awesome I am.”
Actual look: “No, I’m really sorry. I don’t have 25 cents. Oh… God bless you too?”

Attempted look: “Super blurry, yet amazingly fashionable pic of my shoes!”
Actual look: Chris accidentally pressed the ‘capture’ button while trying to figure out the whole focus-on-the-shoes-everything-else-is-blurry thing.

Attempted look: “Something unexpected happened, but I’m so fashionable that the only way you can tell something unexpected happened is that my hair is now wavy.”
Actual look: “WTF. My purse is NOT a rat. If he broke my BRAND NEW F21 sunglasses I’m gonna freak out bc I can’t afford another pair!”

After my failed photo session with Chris, I comforted myself by knowing that both Austin and Shiva have the blog/photo thing on lockdown. One day I’ll look all model-y as a result of their photo skills…. Or I’ll just use Angela instead of me. She always looks model-y.

If you’d like to read my non-photo related fashion blogging debut, you can right here. I don’t curse or talk about alcohol once! Can you believe it?

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One thought on “And this is why I’m not a fashion blogger

  1. […] I’m gonna go ahead and preface this by letting you guys know that this will definitely be the most useful DIY/Lifestyle post I do, because, as you know, I’m pretty much terrible at DIY anything and don’t even get me started on fashion photography. […]

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