Every time I go to Brooklyn, I get all OMGICOULDLIVEHERE THIS IS SO HIP, and then I walk back to the subway and have to wait for the L train…
- I wonder if throwing myself on the tracks, getting hit by the train (but not fatally) and rushed to the hospital will get me back to Manhattan faster.
- The couple behind me arguing over the pronunciation of Fette Sau is sooooo textbook couple who decided to venture out of Manhattan to Williamsburg for the night.
- I really wish I’d admitted to the fact that I initially attempted to order two slices of pizza when the guy looked at me said, “Just one, right?”
- Why is pizza in New York so salty?
- Is it really because of the water?
- The water doesn’t seem so salty.
- That couple over there is making fun of me eating my pizza. No, Tiffany, you’re not being paranoid. They are. THEY ARE.
- Having to transfer trains is one of the worst fates known to man.
- I really wish I had more pizza and/or alcohol.
- This is why going to Brooklyn should be reserved for the weekend… or never.
- There is no trash can on this platform.
- Can I throw my paper plate on the tracks? Will it help the rats?
- Will they build little homes with it?
- There’s a guy leaning dangerously over the tracks. If he’s the next person to fall and get hit by the L train, do I gain some sort of life points for having witnessed that?
- Really, when is this train fucking coming?
- Worst club ever.
- “Sweet rats, dude.” Is not a phrase I ever want to hear again.
- If I lick the grease off my paper plate, will it taste like pizza enough to be worth the scorn of judge-y couple?
- Seriously, is this train coming from Jersey?
- If I take the train that’s going in the opposite direction until it turns around and heads back this way, will I get home at the same time?
- Finally! Holy hell that took forever and I am now sweaty from standing down here forever.
- God this train is packed.
- Stepping into the mass of people on the inexplicably, perpetually packed L is what I’d imagine stepping into the armpit of any member of MGMT is like.
- This thing I’m using to grab onto is not something people should have to hold onto to stay upright on the train.
- This is definitely some sort of super cold pipe meant to punish me for ever going to Brooklyn.
- What is the train honking at mid-tunnel? Other trains?
And finally, at the 3rd Avenue stop.
27. Why the FUCK was this giant rolling fan on the train?