Can we combine Facebook profiles?

Recently I’ve noticed an interesting trend among my married friends on facebook: Joint profiles. I’ll be scrolling through my minifeed and suddenly I’ll see LindseyandJonathan Green and I’ll be like, whatttttt? That’s two people!?

I’ve spent enough Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights in a church pew to guess that this is some new thing pastors are recommending to young married couples so that Facebook does not tempt them to ‘stray.’

I’m promise I’m not judging! You do you, married people… You know how I feel about your traditional straight people marriages anyway. Personally, after sharing my first facebook account with my roommate because our school wasn’t legit enough to have .edu email addresses, I doubt I will ever relinquish the control I have over my very own account.

But then I started thinking more about the joint account. If used correctly, there could be some serious benefits to sharing a profile with another person. How awesome would it be to have a joint account with all my friends?

THINK OF THE PERKS PEOPLE!

1. Best stalking experience ever – It’s like the day FB changes its privacy policy and no one has figured out to go change their settings… Times ten! Imagine this: you’re looking at a picture one of your friends was tagged in and you see someone sexy stranger in the picture. You click on them, right? But usually you can see profile pics and maybe where they work which offers you the ability to mayyyybe look for them on LinkedIn and see their professional photo. So lame. If you had a shared profile with your friends you could creep alllllll day long.

2. More minifeed updates- I realized recently that I will look through anyone’s minifeed, regardless of whether or not I know their friends, and be equally as fascinated with those people as the people in my feed. At this point, we all have so many facebook friends we barely know. Checking the minifeed is the modern equivalent of reading all the stuff written on a bathroom stall. The only difference is less dick drawings, more “Christy and Sam 4evas,” and links to Youtube videos.
I love it. I could read that shit all day, so to me, the more random people writing on the bathroom stall of the internet, the merrier.

3. We could play that game where every person writes one word of the sentence and it comes out super silly. Enough said. That game was awesome.

4. Our Klout score would be the shit. I didn’t even know what Klout really was until I started writing this post. So I signed up, but I still don’t really know what Klout is. My score is low.

5. If lots of people followed the trend, there would be less “Monday = Bad” and “Friday = Good” status updates. We’d all win.

Ok, I know there are some potential problems. What if you’re tagged in a photo and you look amazing but another member of the profile looks terrible? How do you choose a profile picture? I suggest the following solutions: Everyone must approve the tag; picture of Snookie’s baby or President Obama. Boom. Solved.

Let’s do it. Who wants to combine Facebook profiles? I’m so down to stalk your friends.

Peace, love and multiple Gmail addresses so we can keep our original profiles,

BWCE

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3 thoughts on “Can we combine Facebook profiles?

  1. Oh, combined profiles for couples are the WORST. Conservative/straight/married people need to cut that out.

  2. fjrabon says:

    Combined profiles are simultaneously the best and the worst. They’re the best because whenever I see one I imagine what it must be like to be that dude. Then I chuckle and am a little bit happier to have my life. Worst because, yeah. Perhaps you might say they’re the best/worst profiles ever…

  3. Love it when we can apply the blog title to the subject matter.

    Caro, this is why I’m ok with you betraying my movement #coolmarriedpeoplewin

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