Ok, the moment has arrived: Today you all get your collages for sharing my blog on your Facebook pages! I decided to bribe all of my Facebook friends with the promise of collages for shares because I did it last year and I got more blog views in one week than I’d gotten EVER. That being said, I was truly floored by the number of shares this year and initially a bit intimidated by the thought of creating collages for so many people. But then I started thinking… What if BWCE was a giant, multinational corporation? What role would all of you play in it?
So, after several hours of Facebook stalking all of you (and several mimosas), I’ve assumed the role of imaginary CEO and created positions for all of you. CONGRATULATIONS!
I don’t really have any managing people experience, but I’ve attempted to arrange all of you in departments. See below for your department, title and office.
The BO$$ Department:
Let’s be honest, if BWCE ever becomes some giant company, I’m cashing in my stock, dying my hair Ke$ha blonde and retiring to Hoboken.
Of course, I have to leave my empire to someone, and I would never leave it to anyone other than Austin. Before embarking on the drunken vacation known as retirement, I will appoint Austin with the tile of “God.” Yes, you do all have to call him God. I hope you’re ok with that.
Oh Austin, you will probably turn BWCE into the highest fashion thing ever, or an augmented reality blog (WHAT WOULD THAT BE LIKE NOW I WANT IT?!?!), but either way, you will make it awesome. And in my absence, you are allowed cats.
The Security Department:
Security is an issue at BWCE. When you make fun of basically everyone and everything ever, you need to make sure you’re got a team of highly-skilled professionals to stop assailants at all times of the day/night. Also, considering that the company’s Mission Statement is “Shots!Shots!Shots!”, you can imagine the employees create their own trouble on a regular basis.
That’s why I’ve hired Adam, Frank and Joe for their diverse skills in defending my company.
The Operations Department:
Over the course of my life, I’ve accumulated some pretty smart friends. Having smart friends is great, because when you’re all like, “What’s all this fiscal cliff stuff? I don’t watch the news,” they can explain it to you. I definitely trust the following people with my business much more than I trust myself.
Jane, if you click on your collage it will link you to the new reality show I’m really excited for us to all watch.
Yes, Turner, we are going to recreate the Oval Office at BWCE headquarters. The only caveat is that as Austin is head of design, it may end up being an all black oval office. Sorry, you can’t fight God’s will.
The Creative Department:
We are better than Thought Catalog. That’s all.
So, there you have it: the future BWCE staff. For serious though, thank you all so much for clicking, reading and sharing my blog. I have big plans for BWCE, and every time you tell a friend about it an angel poops glitter. Ok, maybe not, but I clap and bounce. A lot.
Peace, love and OMGYOUGUYSARETHEF-INGBEST!!!