I am a huge fan of April Fool’s Day. I wasn’t as a kid, mainly because everyone’s tricks were super lame, but since the internet April 1st just keeps getting better and better. My only issue is that every year I resolve to come up with some awesome prank, and every year I fail miserably. Sometimes I’ll have ideas that I’ll fail to execute out of a combination of laziness and fear that I’ll really piss someone off, other years (like this one) I’m without a single idea for a prank.
It’s similar to Halloween, where I’ll spend so much time trying to come up with an idea to no avail, and then days after Halloween the best idea ever will hit me. I think we need do-over days for both of these holidays, starting today.
I herby declare today April Fool’s do-over day. When your coworker is out to lunch, grab his or her headset, slather vaseline all over it and when he picks up the phone and gives you a WTF look jump out of your seat, run around the office in circles and scream “APRIL FOOL’S DO-OVER DAY! APRIL FOOL’S DO-OVER DAY!”
No one will ever fucking expect it.
Here are some other pranks I’ve come up with for you to execute today. Sure, everyone will hate you, but you will have the last laugh.
- Change all of the clocks and calendars in your back to say April 1st. Wear the exact same thing you were wearing the morning prior. When your roommate walks out, strike up the exact same conversation you had the day before. Try to convince them they’re living in their own personal Groundhog’s Day. Once he’s called his psychiatrist and asked him to up his medication grab the phone from him and yell into the receiver, “JK IT’S JUST APRIL FOOL’S DO OVER DAY! DOC, THIS SHIT CRAY!”
- Create an OkCupid profile using a picture of Ryan Gosling. Find your nemesis’ profile on the site. Begin messaging her, promising her that you really are Ryan Gosling and that you’re, “sick of the dating scene like everyone else and just want a nice girl like her to settle down with.” Convince her to meet you at a bar that night and then when she gets there be like, “APRIL FOOL’S DO-OVER, BITCH!”
- Know someone on a diet? Replace all of the salad dressing in the fridge with mayo. When he’s complaining about the fact that he gained two pounds the following week, smile coyly and whisper under your breath, “April Fool’s do-over, fatty.”
Or you can reenact what I did yesterday, which was fooling myself into believing that I had bed bugs, gutting my entire room and spending 1/3rd of the money in my bank account (it wasn’t very much to begin with) on a bed bug mattress cover and at the end of the day say a big JK APRIL FOOL’S DO OVER to yourself.
I wouldn’t recommend it.
Peace, love and pranks,