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Upper West, Midnight: After an evening of reliving college through music, this image only reminds me of the many, regrettable lap dance competitions held at Kira’s house.

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WORST

CLUB

EVER

The PIT, Not really over the weekend: I don’t know what they’re doing, really.

Cab ride, Midnight: Sing along.

I spent so much money at the bodega last night that Bank of America fraud protection department called me

No, really, I did.

I’ve spoken to Bank of America’s fraud department before, but I don’t think I remembered how awkward it is discussing the charges on my card. I’m far from a private person, but I can’t say my conversation with Ethan, the mouth-breathing customer service rep, was comfortable for me:

E- “Ok, I’m going to list the charges in question. Can you please confirm each one?”

T- “Sure.”

E- “106 King Gourmet Deli – $50.”

T- “…Yes.”

E- “Sophies – $15.”

T- “Yes.”

E- “NYC Taxi – $25. Duane Reade – $4.91. Chipotle – $13.50. Ashbys – $5.33.”

T- “Mhmm.”

E- “WMV Match.com – $78.00”

T- “Yes?”

E- “[About three more restaurants and Seamless web} ~$5.”

T- “Yes. Okthanksbye!”

I say all this to say that BoA decided $200 worth of charges to delis and Match.com was enough to be suspicious of fraud. Not only do my charges make me look fat and lonely, BoA just called me poor.

Dear Ethan,

If you need some proof of my recent activity –

Tagged

This is what Penny did when I asked her to smile.

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