I couldn’t help myself. I had to do it. I’m mid-Dryuary, it’s cold AF out (or downright tropical depending on the day – cool. we’re all gonna die soon. it’s cool.), and 2018 has already brought us a deadly trend that’s been memed to oblivion. Plus, after like ten days of staring at Tide pods and thinking how delicious they look, I decided to figure out how to make some for real edible ones.
I made up several recipes in my head – first Jello, then hard candy crescents with like fun dip powder or something and finally I landed on GUMMIES. Because even if they turned out like a poison-themed Pinterest fail, they’d at least be delicious.
So I made some gelatin. Then, because I couldn’t find any moon-shaped cookie cutters or molds, I purchased a fancy knife at the cake store (why spend money on things you need when you can spend money on a knife you’ll never use again but that also sort of makes you look like a secret serial killer?) to cut the gelatin.
I used a picture of real-life Tide pods for inspiration, but really I just aimed to cut out shitty-looking little whales.
Meanwhile, I made the base of the pod with the white gelatin so that I could get the full cube effect of the Tide pods. I THOUGHT OF EVERYTHING. Once I finished cutting out all of the ugly whales and eating most of the leftover gelatin for dinner, I attempted the hardest part of this project – getting the wrappers on the pods. I went totally rogue for this one and decided that two packets of Knox gelatin mixed with 1/3rd cup of water would gel enough to make the plastic.
I microwaved the flavorless gelatin for about 45 seconds and now I think I know what burnt horse hooves smell like so that was awful, BUT it did give me the right texture. I brushed a thin layer on the bottom of the silicon mat, and despite the fact that it didn’t stick all that well due to the canola oil spray, it did a pretty good job in keeping the colored gelatin stuck to the bottom when I poured in the white gelatin.
Once I covered my gel pod/whales/poor excuses for Jello ying yang symbols, I topped the mixture with the backs of the pod and poured more hoof-scented clear gelatin over the pods.
I chilled another 20 mins or so, used my serial killer tool to cut the clear gelatin and BOOM. EDIBLE TIDE PODS, FUCKERS.
So yeah. No more hypothetical recipes. This is IT.
Peace, Love and don’t eat (real) Tide pods you dummies,